Thursday, July 7, 2011

Control freak meets faith

I am a control freak for the most part. If you know anything about my childhood, then you know why I feel a need to be in control. I do not like surprises, I get nervous when someone says they will do something and does not. I hate waiting on someone to pick me up, because I was left waiting to long, way to many times. I NEED CONTROL

and yet...

Controlled situations are not where you usually find God, He is not in the perfectly planned events or the every-detailed-covered kind of life. He does not say to trust Him when we are really trusting in ourselves. He is not does not move in BIG ways when we only give Him little safe windows to work in. And yet we somehow trust ourselves more than the God who can move mountains and yet loves us deeply.

Planting a church in the middle of nowhere (I actually really like nowhere) took some faith on our part, but honestly I was not really that worried. Maybe that had to do with the peace God gives us when we are in His will and that everything seem to fall into place before there was time to worry.

I have to admit that the adoption has take an huge amount of faith.

1) it is something I have wanted to do for YEARS. It is hard to want something so badly and know there is no way we could do it on our own. umm... like impossible on our own.
2) We started off our desire to adopt with a small credit card dept and nothing in savings. The control freak would say that is probably not the right time to start. We did pay everything off and save before we were able to make big announcements, but the decision came to adopt when we have nothing.
3) we are going to have 6 children. Like 6, six, sáw, shan, , سِت sittä, bảy, enam, chwech, seis, (that is 6 in the most obscure languages that I could find. Probably countries were they traditionally have 6 kids, but in America people tend to ask WHY)
4) There is really a lot that can get messed up and there is nothing a person can do to control it. We are at the mercy of many.

So what does all of that mean. It means that our window for God to work is really big, so big I have watched Him work in so many ways during a journey. I am sure if I would have lived my safe and controlled life I would have missed being present to watch God work. We are told to make markers of ways that God has worked. I have decided to keep track of all the blessings we have seen on this journey. I hope to look back and remember all He has done. Along the side of the blog will be the specific ways we have seen God work. I am sure there are many more unseen ways too.

1 comment:

  1. Great message, Tama! Thanks for sharing your heart with us...